Untitled
by justforgetit
Summary: ShizxNat


Note: I've just now finished My HiME. Within this hour, actually. So this is my first try with this series, and my first attempt at this couple. I don't know any other fans and I have yet to read My HiME fan fiction. So, I apologize if what I write isn't what the majority like. I anticipate reading other stories from better writers. 

Disclaimer: My HiME and all of its characters are not tied to me. Though I wish they were.

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Despite what we all wished; life did not go back to 'normal.' The aftermath of the HiME Festival left many places in ruin, including Fuka Academy. Worse than the physical destruction, however; was the emotional. Circumstances had driven our group to the edge of madness. The cruelty of our position turned friend against friend, and in one case; sibling against sibling. Our actions had been out of character, and left many scarred. And though we all forgave each other, memories were burnt into the backs of our eyelids; and painful thoughts frequented our sleep. 

Tonight I found myself confronted with another nightmare.

I bolted up in my bed and cursed under my breath. Sweat collected on my skin and I found myself trembling.

"If I continue like this, I will need a therapist." I said as I dragged myself out of bed and into the bathroom. The sun had been out for quite some time, so I had no trouble seeing myself in the mirror. My bloodshot eyes were framed by dark circles. I looked as if I had been through hell and back. Which, I guess; isn't that hard to believe. I was too tired to go back to sleep, and too tired of waking up in fright. So, I decided I would stay awake and make one of my rare appearances in the world outside.

Within the hour I found myself at Fuka.

It was mid afternoon, so most everyone could be found in their classes; the ones that remained, that is. Most had been destroyed, so some courses were held in portables used until all renovations had been completed. I had promised myself earlier that I would go to my own class, and finally make an attempt at school. But honestly, when I arrived; all desire to keep my word left me. Instead, I walked the halls; occasionally peeking into those classes that I knew my friends attended. It put me at ease to watch them. And so I continued my private tour and soon found myself nearing the one room I had been avoiding:

The room used for Student Council meetings.

Had I been anyone else, I would have walked past this room without a second thought. But I am Natsuki Kuga; and this room had a profound impact on my sanity. I straightened my back and twisted the doorknob. Upon entering I realized I had been holding my breath. I exhaled and let my eyes wander around the room, taking in its broken state. My memory recalled days when this room was intact. But, thanks to me, it was demolished.

Along with the one usually found in it.

It is a horrific experience to destroy something you think fondly of. I let myself sink down onto my knees and desired to be the only person to know how this felt. But wishes are pointless, and those who I surround myself with know my feelings far too well.

One person in particular; whose feelings of desolation reached the furthest in our group.

"Shizuru."

Always calm and composed. Never complaining, forever smiling. To say I didn't see it coming would be a lie. Those who close themselves off to others are bound to come undone. An emotional breakdown is hard enough as is, but when you add the kind of power you had into the mix… the results are overpowering.

And so, you left a path of destruction. All of it for the sake of the one you cared for most. I could have been fine, you know. I had lived the majority of my life in isolation. Many years passed without love in my life. But then you came into my life and held my heart in an unfathomably tender way. A gesture that, to this day, I still find myself unworthy of receiving.

I got off of the cold floor and found a nearby chair. I rested my elbows on the table before me, an action I used to do frequently. This time was different, however. My heart took note of absences, there was no item of yours to be seen. I can borrow nothing from you on this day.

Thoughts soon took me away and my head slumped onto the table below it. After what seemed like moments, I found myself sensing a slight pressure on my left shoulder. I eased my eyes open and turned to see where the touch was coming from.

"I thought Natsuki would never awaken."

Emerald eyes met crimson and uneasiness found a home in the pit of my stomach. This is déjà vu, surely. She has found me here many times before.

"I was asleep?" I asked. "How long have you been here?"

There was no smile on her face.

"Long enough to figure that you have been depriving yourself of rest… I guess some things don't change, do they Natsuki?"

It's funny how she can still tease while wearing such a solemn face.

"What brings you to this classroom, Shizuru? I wasn't aware you took back your old position as president."

A soft smile crept onto her features. I felt myself swallow hard.

"I often find myself back in this classroom. Sometimes in person, but more often in dreams… and nightmares. Does it bother you that I am here, Natsuki?

I can leave you, if it is what you wish."

I broke off eye contact and stared my arms, still placed in front of me. At some point, the hand she had rested on my frame had left, and I felt coldness where it once resided.

"No, I do not mind if you stay with me." I turned my head to face her once again. "Besides, I believe there are things that need discussion."

"Whatever Natsuki is willing to say will be listened to and taken note of."

"It has to do with the events during the HiME Festival…"

I watched her jaw tighten and continued.

"… I just wanted to thank you."

"Thank me? Why would Natsuki thank me?"

Confessing feelings has never been an easy task for me. Maybe this is because not many opened up to me during my existence. Who could have, anyway? I was friends with few and close to fewer.

"No one has ever cared for me like you have."

"I do not see why Natsuki is even speaking to me… after all that…"

"We all did things that may seem… objectionable. But I think no less of you. And actually, I am very honored to have someone go so far for a person like me…"

There was one other before her, however; my mother. Her hair was the color of what she died next to, and Shizuru's eyes are the color that formed around all those murdered. Both killed and were killed for my sake. Do I bring death into the lives of those I love most? It hurt me, and healed me, to know that I was sacrificed for.

Silence sat between us, so I rose to my feet and stood face to face with Shizuru. I then took her hands in mine and prepared myself to speak again.

"You have been so kind to me. And I have hurt you beyond repair, I'm sure. But I just have one last favor to ask of you, or… two, actually."

"Anything Natsuki asks of me will be completed." She answered, the faint smile still on her lips.

"The first is this: I do not want you to fret over your actions any more than you already have. Why give yourself any more pain? I think you have had enough for a long, long time…"

"I will try, Natsuki. And the second?"

"My second request is that you no longer kiss me while I sleep."

She broke eye contact and I watched her face flush.

"You killed because you thought it was what I needed. And I kissed you because I thought it was what you wanted. But Shizuru…"

I slowly moved my hands from our grasp and rested them up on her cheeks.

"… I realize now that I was the one who wanted and needed that kiss. And Shizuru;"

Her eyes widened in surprise at my words.

"…my precious one, a sleeping person cannot kiss you back."

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Authors note: So... ha. Hope it's not hated too much. 


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